Thumbnail

A Traveler’s Official Guide To Allderdice

The Backword

· 5 min read

With all of the hype and opinions swirling around Taylor Allderdice High School, it can be difficult to know what to do and see with your visit. (You only have a limited amount of time!) That is why The Backword has crafted the perfect guide to discovering Allderdice. Whether you are visiting for a while, or only passing through, this guide will help you maximize your time in discovering this enchanting destination.

Planning a trip can be exciting. You may want to jump right into scheduling the big things, like what you’re going to do and see. But you have to start with entering the building. Although it may seem trivial, getting into Allderdice (or Dice, as the locals call it) can be tricky. Unfortunately, after some threats of conflict, Allderdice had to increase its border security. Now identification is required to enter, so make sure to bring your ID. On top of this, you’ll have to go through customs, meaning you’ll have to leave your goodies at home. However, fear not: the locals are more than willing to share! You also may want to arrive early. As you may be able to discern, this is a time consuming process.

Now that you’re in, getting to know the locals is your first stop. Luckily, you will not have to roam far to find locals hanging out and having a good time. Joining in on such experiences is immensely entertaining and informative. Additionally, like I mentioned before, the locals can help you get goods that you may have been unable to bring with you. However, you still have to be careful when keeping those items with you. Although a push for legalization is ongoing, locals have only managed to achieve decriminalization.

A long time spent with the locals will probably leave you high…ly hungry! Next stop, the restaurant: Scarcely Edible. You will find Scarcely Edible near the main border crossing location, just off to the right. Now, you will have to time it just right, because you will need ID and a reservation to get in. Without these, you will be left hungry and disappointed. Even with a reservation, plan on a long line. Scarcely Edible is hugely popular.

But, it will all be worth it in the end because the food is unbelievable. Your fate lies in the chefs’ hands–you never get to choose your meal. This allows them to perfect each dish. Critics may make a fuss about the small serving sizes, but is that not to be expected from a restaurant as high-end as this one? (I mean what are they expecting? A slice of pizza AND an apple?)

Some may attempt to dissuade you from eating at Scarcely Edible. They have petty complaints like lighting, location, and their failure to comply with basic health and safety guidelines. But are you going to let these things stop you? I did not think so.

My next recommendation is slightly more tame than the former. Allderdice is a frantic place, a main contributor to its charm. Despite this, you may want a calmer activity. Visiting one of the several modern art exhibits is the perfect choice. The exhibits are frequently closed for renovations so make sure to sign up for the “after hours tour.”

Upon first glance, the exhibit may appear to be only simple, meaningless statues, but when you look more closely, you will be able to see the true meaning behind the missing stall doors, and sink faucets. Some consider the art as “destruction of public property.” Such people have a limited understanding of what constitutes art.

Early afternoon is when most people get off work, but in order to truly experience Allderdice, you will have to stick around. This is the best way to experience Allderdice to its fullest. You heard me right, it’s time to go clubbing!

Allderdice has a plethora of clubs, all open on different days of the week and for different amounts of time. Some clubs are more exclusive than others, requiring an invite. Others will just be happy to have another attendee. Clubs often provide free food and entertainment to rope you into joining their mailing list. But beware: this is merely a gateway to signing up for a membership. Soon, you will be expected to be involved in this club extensively. As long as you stay on the lookout for these cult-like recruitment tactics, you should be fine. Regardless where you party, make good choices!

Follow this guide and planning your trip will be easy. Since almost nobody comes back, visiting Allderdice is a once in a lifetime experience—so make the most of it!

About The Backword

The Backword is the Allderdice's annual satire publication.

Logo

The Foreword

The Student News Site of Taylor Allderdice High School